Feedback Thoughts: Criticism of Self and Others

  Criticism can be the hardest thing to give and take. Too nice, and it gives no constructive feedback to improve. Too harsh, and it can put someone off the whole idea, crushing their spirit. Just right, and it can turn a good idea into a fantastic one.

  I believe that criticism should never be negative. That's not to say that we should never acknowledge faults, but the way to deliver the message should be constructive. Make sure to address the positive aspects of the idea, and then suggest some improvements. I believe that encouragement is just as powerful as "tough love", but has much better repercussions on the persons psyche, resolve and mental health. I was pleased to find that other people agree with me. One such person is Joel Almeida who wrote the article: A Simple 5-Second Habit to Rewire Your Harshly Self-Critical Brain.

  We tend to hold ourselves to unrealistic perfectionism. This can lead to disinterest and impatience. Or we can compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing better than us. Joel Almeida experienced these things, but managed to train his brain to think more positively. He says that we need to "start respecting ourselves enough to practise self-care". Stress and negativity can have very negative effects on your brain. With prolonged periods of stress and negativity, grey matter grows less dense in helpful parts of brain and grows denser in some self critical parts. He compares this to a tug of war; the two parts trying to dominate. He maintains that this can be changed.

  When faced with a setback, it is our reaction that is important. Setbacks happen. As Alexander Pope wrote in his poem / essay, "An Essay on Criticism, Part II":

"To err is human; to forgive, divine"

  When a mistake is made, rather than criticise yourself and react negatively, get back on track and congratulate yourself when you do. Forgive the mistake and move on, and react positively when you do. This is what Almeida's whole mantra is: Reality-Based Self-Congratulation, or REBS. By training yourself to think positively, it becomes habit. You become less easily discouraged. He has found that he dwells less on past failures, and is able to focus on his current steps to succeeding in his goals.

  Another article that I found interesting was Make Good Art: Neil Gaiman’s Advice on the Creative Life by Maria Popova. This is an article discussing the speech that Neil Gaiman gave in May 2012 at Philadelphia's University of the Arts. Gaiman actually promotes and encourages mistakes. "Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things". This is how we learn; by making mistakes. You are progressing when you are testing yourself, even if it doesn't turn out right. This comes back to the growth mindset. Challenge is what improves us, and we cannot learn without it. Trying and not initially succeeding is better than not trying at all.

  With regards to feedback, I think that these two articles can teach about how we can approach criticism. Reflect and criticise positively, and ensure that the attempt itself is respected. Somebody has tried something new. Encourage that, no matter what the result was, and help to guide them to improve when they try again.

- Ultan